Paging Dr. Quitter: Sometimes Walking Away Is the Best Medicine

Coaching

Jul 23

Physicians know how to persevere. We are committed and hardworking. We survived many years of advanced schooling and training, which would not have been possible without perseverance. We are used to enduring physical, mental, and even spiritual hardship.

But this admirable trait can lead to trouble. Sometimes we don’t know when to quit. Partly because we associate quitting with giving up or failure, two outcomes foreign to our self-identity. But quitting, defined as “to stop doing something or leave a job or a place, " is not always negative.

For example, quitting smoking or drinking alcohol are generally thought of as virtuous activities. That’s because the behaviors are considered detrimental and addictive.

But so is workaholism. So is work/life imbalance. So is sacrificing your happiness for a job, even if it is a calling.

There are currently high rates of burnout, depression, and anxiety in medicine. Many people feel trapped in extremely arduous work environments with excessive administrative requirements.

We must normalize pivoting in work and life to enhance well-being just because we want to. It is desirable to be able to make different choices for our health and happiness. Greater than 50% of recent new attendings will change jobs within the first few years of practice. Since the pandemic, many doctors have changed their practice models or left medicine entirely. It is becoming more and more normal to make a different choice.

Recently I had to stop my attempt to rehome a dog, due to her severe behavioral issues and my allergies to her. True to form, I tried to make it work by getting a trainer and adding allergy medication. Her behavior improved but remained challenging and more importantly, my allergies did not. They even worsened the longer she was in my home.

Initially, this felt like a personal failure, because I couldn’t manage the situation. Her behavior issues were far more significant than any I had dealt with before. I couldn’t have a friend or relative over for a visit without shutting her in another room. There are dog nose-sized holes in two of my window screens. While walking her she exhibited severe reactivity to people or dogs we’d meet. I repeatedly thought, “This is not the life I want.”

That’s not quitting or failing. It’s recognizing that there are alternatives to your situation and taking different actions.

The difference is more than words, it’s attitude. Quitting is moving away from something. Choosing differently is moving toward something else, using the power of clarity of thought and agency (and a healthy dose of self-compassion).

My sore throat and cough are gone. And life is much less stressful.