Navigating Resistance: A Path to Inner Peace and Greater Productivity
Let’s talk about resistance. That sneaky bandit of prosperity that can ruin your day at any moment and how to escape its clutches.
The Oxford Dictionary defines resistance as the refusal to accept or comply with something. In Star Trek, when the Borg prepares to assimilate a ship it declares, “Resistance is futile”, meaning the ship has no chance of escape.
In coaching, resistance has a different connotation and is readily escapable, but takes some mental effort. It’s not an attack from without, it’s an attack from within when your mind refuses to accept the reality of the situation that you’re in.
When you find reality unacceptable, you fight with it, thinking it should be different. You do this by railing, internally or externally, against the current conditions. That the circumstances should change and then you would be at peace and life would be better. However, this doesn’t change the situation.
Here’s the thing about resistance. It’s adherent. It sticks to your skin and bones and you carry it around once you’re hijacked by it. It costs you energy because it makes it harder to go about your life as before. You’re being dragged back to the thoughts about how wrong the situation is and how it should change.
Not only do you fume about this internally, but maybe you talk with other people about how it should be different. Perhaps these people are in a position to affect change, perhaps they’re not. Possibly you’ve talked to them many times and there have been no changes or explanation as to why not. This makes you even more frustrated. Often the hardest resistance to deal with is the things you’ve tried to change but are unable to because it’s beyond your control.
Some daily examples that might generate resistance could include hitting all the red lights on the way to work, slow drivers ahead on your route, congestion in the parking garage, your EMR, how the first patient in the clinic is always late getting into a room, so the entire day starts late, being on call, delays in the operating room, or disagreements with a colleague. All of these things can trigger resistance and when they do, they affect your mood.
This is challenging. I get it. But, staying in resistance is not helping you at all. It darkens your mood and saps your energy.
What does help?
Acceptance. Acceptance does not mean liking or approving of the way things are. It is deciding not to fight with the reality you are experiencing. It implies moving past the perceived obstacle to a place where it doesn’t bother you acutely.
It means not getting angry at the red lights and slow drivers. It means not being activated by congestion in the parking garage and having alternate tasks planned for when patients are late. It means not experiencing rage with the latest eEMR update, being on call, or operating room delays. It means sometimes you simply will only be in agreement with some of your colleagues about patient care or how your group runs things.
It may also mean acknowledging where the system is broken and finding constructive ways to improve it while knowing you can’t fix it right now. It’s not in your power. You don’t have autonomy over that. But you do have autonomy over your internal landscape.
Stop spending your precious energy and good mood on costly and repetitive aggravations and replace it with restorative action.
To get out of resistance, first focus within and notice that you’re invested in reality being different than it is. Internally is where you have the most control to affect the most change in the minute. Concentrate on your breathing. Notice that you are ok and safe right now at this moment. Nothing has precipitously gone wrong.
Once you’ve relaxed a bit, what are the options available to you? What would allow you to ignore those inconveniences/aggravations that you have no control over? What would make this situation a little easier?
Choose one of those and continue with your day.
