The Surprising Power of Change: Lessons from Painting My Home
“Get house painted” has been on my to-do list for years.
When I bought my house, 21 years ago, it was newly built. And to be honest, I never liked the paint choices the builder made. I bought it before it was finished and was given some choices about the interior, but not the exterior paint color, which was probably just as well as I would not have had any idea where to begin.
I moved in a couple of months later and pretty much loved the house. Except for the color of the exterior. But obviously, this wasn’t a deal breaker and it’s not like I have spent a lot of time staring at the house from the outside.
In recent years, it’s become clear that the house needed to be painted. But it seemed like such a big thing since I’d never gone through the experience of painting a house. (To be clear, when I say that, what I mean is “paying someone to paint a house”. There was never a question of doing it myself.)
But what color should I choose? I had some general ideas of colors I preferred to the current one. That was easy. But what color specifically? And how would that look with the nearby houses? And how would I find a good painter to do it? So many questions. And so much else that needed to be taken care of in my life. So I ignored the growing problem.
Then last year it also became clear I needed to replace my roof. It seemed best to do that first and by the time I did, it was too late in the fall to paint the house. Reprieve from the undesirable task! I could ignore it for several more months!
Then came the spring. And the eventual sunshine. Finally, there were no more excuses to put off the task.
So I did my research, interviewed some painters, and settled on one company, expecting I would still have several weeks to research colors.
I did not.
They were ready to start the following week and wanted colors picked in less than 48 hours so they could order the paint. Now with a quickly approaching deadline (if I’m honest, this is the way I tend to get things completed when they are unfamiliar or bothersome), I had to get to a paint store and pick colors.
I came home with two potential color samples for the body of the house. Immediately I tried them out on various sides of the house, near fixtures, and faux rock walls, and picked the one I liked best. Then just went to the color family to choose shades that would go well on the other surfaces.
It was fast. There was no time to second guess myself or the extensive research I tend to engage in before big decisions.
And I realized a few things. This isn’t surgery. It’s not permanent. If I don’t like the colors, I can change them. It might be an added expense, but it is an option. Also, I’d lived in the house for over 20 years, tolerating the builder’s choices, and loved the place anyway.
It felt like a big, huge, consequential thing. Which it was. But also it wasn’t. Not compared to the choices I made every day as a doctor. There was actually nothing to fear because the decision wasn’t irrevocable.
Also, I didn’t have to follow the timeline set by the painter. I’m the customer, I could have told her I needed more time to decide and that it would have to be done later. There really were lots of options here, so I didn’t need to be afraid of making “the wrong choice”.
The important thing is to not make a decision from a stressed place arising from the illusion that you don’t have a choice. You always have options. You have the ability to move into a place of choice rather than pressure when you realize that the agency is yours.
Another pitfall is spending a lot of time in indecision due to excessive analysis. If you keep cycling through the options over and over this is what you’re doing. It’s not productive. Make a decision. See how it feels. Flip a coin. Do you like the answer? Either way, your true answer is clear.
Finally, it was done. And I loved it. I mean like really, really loved it.
And a thing happened, that shouldn’t really have surprised me as a coach, but it did. There was such an energy shift with the change. I felt uplifted, and energized, and began changing the inside by decluttering and donating things I don’t use or really like.
I learned something about change. It’s never as big a thing as you fear it’s going to be. Take reasonable chances. Don’t burn down your life with all its bridges, but don’t avoid changes just because it’s a change. It’s not that scary to do. And the joy on the other side can be energizing in other areas of your life.
Now I wish I’d done it years ago, due to the immeasurable pleasure I get every time I pull into my driveway. Next step: trimming trees!
