I’ve heard many people talk about self-care recently. Frequently, they reference getting the occasional massages, bubble baths, and pedicures to elevate how they are feeling. To me, that isn’t self-care. That’s pampering. And pampering is perfectly lovely, but it differs from self-care in purpose, intent, and individual optimal frequency.

Real self-care is about actively taking care of yourself, as I discussed here. It's about the intentional actions and practices you engage in to maintain or improve your body, mind, and spirit in the present. (Bonus, it also takes care of future you.) 

Pampering is taking care of yourself right now or in the future with something unusual or luxurious. It feels indulgent to you. A special treat. Not something you’d do regularly. Something that you need to look forward to, to lift your spirits, or to repay yourself for, well, not taking good care of yourself. The intention behind pampering is to change the state of your body, mind, or spirit. It is meant to be recuperative because where you are isn’t where you want to be.

Notice that it isn’t the activity that defines whether it is self-care or pampering. It is the result you are trying to create. Many things could be self-care or pampering, like a mani-pedi, a facial, a delicious meal, an evening out with friends, or a massage.

When I was in practice, I did occasionally pamper myself with a vacation or splurging on something material, but I didn’t practice regular self-care. Now that I’m no longer practicing, I engage in self-care daily. 

Granted, I have more time and energy to devote to it, but self-care doesn’t have to be challenging or time-consuming. It can be as simple as doing something daily that contributes to your well-being. Eating in a way that supports your body. Exercising to release stress while gaining strength and endurance. Getting the sleep you need. Prioritizing time with friends. 

Pampering attempts to restore you to your baseline. Regular self-care raises the baseline. 

Pampering is splurging on that special item you’ve had your eye on. Self-care is paying your bills on time.

Both are valuable. Be aware of the balance of the two in your life.  Consider whether you need more of one or the other right now and make the necessary adjustments.

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